How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
