Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
