Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
