she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
