the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
