i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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