I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
