Already got asked if we're dating
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
