He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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