I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
