I will die if light touches me.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
