Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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