If that was your dad, he is hot
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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