Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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