i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
