Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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