weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he wants to bone in the snuggie
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
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