The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
