Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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