Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
