I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
