I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
