she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
