my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
