while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I AM VODKA MAN
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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