I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
