You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
