you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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