Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize