if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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