I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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