Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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