I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
