Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
