Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We had sex on a dog bed..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
