he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
