now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
