First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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