If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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