The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
