I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
