I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
