I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
