There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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