ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
