My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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