Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
