I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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