woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
