By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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