remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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