I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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