this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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