im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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