I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
