Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
