she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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