I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
