I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
