His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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